2005-11-22

From: Office@cia.gov

I received a nice email from the CIA today.

From: Office@cia.gov
Subject: You visit illegal websites

Dear Sir/Madam,

we have logged your IP-address on more than 30 illegal Websites.

Important:Please answer our questions!The list of questions are attached.

Yours faithfully,Steven Allison

++++ Central Intelligence Agency -CIA-
++++ Office of Public Affairs
++++ Washington, D.C.20505
++++ phone: (703) 482-0623
++++ 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., US Eastern time


Wow the government agent signed it "Yours faithfully". Now there is a tipoff this email is fake. Not to mention the fact my antivirus blocked the email attachment with the message: "Virus identified I-Worm/Sober.CF".

These emails started going out a couple days ago. Although all the reports I've read so far say the email is from the FBI.

All right class repeat after me:
  • "I keep my antivirus updated"
  • "the FBI, CIA, ATF, Ebay, Microsoft, Interpol, and my bank do not send Dear Sir/Madam emails"
  • "I keep my antivirus updated"
  • "I will not open attachments from unknown sources"
  • "I keep my antivirus updated"

Yours faithfully,
Quinqube

2005-10-10

Rage Against the (Spammers) Machine

Fight back against the auto-bot email harvesting machines.

This link is for just for them:
list of email addresses at http://www.auditmypc.com/freescan/antispam.html

Feel free to visit the site, it is harmless to nice people. Here is a
description from the site:
The purpose of this page is to make it so spammers who
attempt to collect email addresses off the web, via programs, will
not have real email addresses in their database. Anti-Spam causes

problems because they will have to clean out their list. It also makes
their database worthless for reselling purposes because the company
purchasing their spam database will have worthless email address.

This page has fifty randomly generated email addresses (refresh

and new ones will appear). At the bottom of the page is a link to
this page again, essentially reloading it for programs to collect
more fake email addresses. Email collecting programs (spam bots)
will be sent into an infinite loop by following the link at the bottom
of the page and will get more and more fake email addresses
stuck in their databases.

Help out the cause - add the link to your site (see the page for instructions)

2005-09-29

Remote Control Door Lock

You can buy a remote controlled padlock for $20. So that gets me thinking with a little bit of chain and a small amount of modification, anyone can have a remote controlled door lock. Now how cool is that?

remote controlled padlock


locked car door


I don't know if y'all ever had a car stolen before
But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door
And you don't need a map or any kind of chart
That your standing in the spot where your car used to be parked
- from the song "Who Stole My Car" by Will Smith (c) 1989

2005-09-27

Defunct Team Logos

So your favorite team went out of business years ago and your last team logo shirt has made its way to the rag drawer. What is a fan to do? Well you could visit Section219 and buy a new one. Yep, a website that sells shirts for defunct teams. Just browsing the logos brought back a lot of "I remember that team" and "what a stupid logo". Below are a few that caught my attention. Enjoy the past, we are doomed to repeat it - in twenty years we will laugh at the team logos of today.

Los Angeles and Jacksonville swapped names back in the 70s and 80s. First LA had the Sharks hockey team, then Jax named their WFL football team the Sharks. The Jax Sharks franchised had problems and was reborn in 1975 as the Jax Express. In the 80's LA named their USFL football team the LA Express.

LA Sharks Jax Sharks LA Express






Speaking of the WFL (World Football League) and USFL (United States Football League) I always thought these logos were backwards - doesn't the Memphis logo look more like a mauler and the Pitt logo like a Southman?


Memphis Southmen Pitt Maulers




Minnesota came up with some fearsome logos in the 70's:


Minn Saints Minn Kicks




Disco fever swept Chicago

Hustle






Here is a seasoned team of veterans

Cherry Hill




The team owner has a concrete business so you name the team the "Mixers"?!?! I do like the way the "O"s in Ohio are worked into the wheels.


Concrete Mixers




Gee, I didn't know Woody Woodpecker was a roadrunner


Roadrunners




I never knew the phone company owned a football team


Philly Bells




Hmmm, Seattle had a hockey team in the '50s called the Ironmen. I wonder where Marvel came up with the idea in the early 60's for their new hero Ironman?


Ironmen




Sadly who knew it was a chilling prophesy when the BREAKERS moved from Boston to NEW ORLEANS

NO Breakers




Here is a hockey team from the 1950's. . . looks like an ad for condoms.


US Trojans

Which reminds me in China a rubber company is launching a new line of condoms called (I kid you not ) the "Clinton" and "Lewinsky". The "Lewinsky" is discount priced around $3 per dozen and the premium "Clinton" brand will sell for a couple of dollars more.

In '85, took eternal rest
USFL folded in North, East, South & West
That's why classic fans came here to say
We can watch classic games on ESPN someday
- from the parody song "USFL" (sung to the tune of "The 1st Noel"), written by Arcade Junkie

2005-09-18

SHIVER ME TIMBERS! Its the 19th.

Ahoy mates,
I can't believe I almost missed this one. Monday September 19th is Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day.

Arr ye landlubbers, put on yur eye patch and hoist the Jolly Roger for a day.
Learn more here: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

If'n ye need a pirate name then sail over to one of these islands:
this one uses your real name
this one uses a personality test, in fact they say this about me:

My pirate name is: Black Tom FlintJolly Roger
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.



Here lie some pirate jokes

Beware of the RIAA and MPAA privateer scallywags, they will plunder your treasure. Aye mate, be careful the FBI makes pirates walk the plank

FBI anti-piracy seal
sincerely,
Cap'n Booker Bloodgut

Yes, I am a pirate
Two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder
There's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late
Arriving too late
- from the song "A Pirate Looks At Forty" by Jimmy Buffett (c) 1974


2005-09-11

Blame It On The Moon

Has it only been four years since the world as I knew ceased to exist? It feels like a lifetime ago that America was attacked. Most remember Flight 93, the defiant passengers that fought back and stopped the loss of more lives on the ground. Plans have been unveiled for the "Flight 93 Memorial" that will transform the crash site to be "a common field one day, a field of honor forever". The master design calls for a 93-foot tall Tower of Voices, with 40 chimes inside. Each chime represents the life of a passenger or crew member on aboard Flight 93. It will also feature two stands of red maple trees that will line a walkway caressing the natural bowl shape of the land. Forty separate groves of red and sugar maples will be planted behind the walkway, and a black slate wall will mark the edge of the crash site, where the remains of those who died now rest. Here are some artist drawings


tower of voices









This is the master plan for the 2,000 acre memorial




Like any artwork it inspires opinions. My immediate opinion is one of outrage. Is the design team arrogant or stupid? Harsh words you say? Well let me explain - the title of the memorial is "Crescent of Embrace". The walkway and trees will form a crescent shape, just like the crescent moon symbol used by Muslims.

"Crescent of Embrace"


If the above is rotated it looks like this, notice the similarities to the crescent moon used on flags from Muslim nations? The red in the above image is in the original artwork by the designer. I tweaked the colors below to give the crescent more contrast. Remember the official title is "Crescent of Embrace"




Why would you design a memorial to resemble the symbol used by the very Muslim extremist who caused the death of passengers and crew? Just who is this a memorial too?

The memory of the passengers and crew deserves something different. Contact the National Park Service before its too late. "Lets Roll".

link: news article about the memorial
link: official Flight 93 Memorial website
link: website of the designer

Scrappleface.com offers this fake but on target article:

Bush Unveils His Flight 93 Memorial Proposal
by Scott Ott
(2005-09-10)
-- As Americans reacted in shock to the proposed 'Crescent of Embrace' memorial to Flight 93, which resembles the crescent trademark of Islam, President George Bush today unveiled a proposal of his own.

"The people who died in Pennsylvania fighting for control of United Flight 93 on September 11, 2001, don't need a new memorial," said Mr. Bush. "In very real sense, they already have two memorials: We call them The White House and the Capitol Building."

Mr. Bush explained that since one of those two buildings was the likely target for the Muslim terrorists who hijacked the plane, "the fact that they're both still standing is a lasting tribute to the people who gave their lives fighting evil."

"Every time you see those white pillars or that gleaming dome," the president said, "remember the 40 Americans who volunteered in a moment to defend freedom with their own blood. Remember the ones who looked fear in the face and said, 'Let's Roll.'"


According to Wikipedia
The crescent used to be a symbol of the Byzantine Empire. After the Fall of Constantinople in 1453 it was taken as a symbol by the Ottoman Empire. The crescent is now often used to symbolize the Islamic faith. However, it should be noted that the crescent was not a symbol used for Islam by Muhammad or any other early Muslim rulers, as the Islam is, in fact, against appointing "Holy Symbols". Despite that fact many Islamic nations and charities use the symbol on their flags or logos (e.g. Pakistan, The Red Crescent.) In this manner it could be argued that its modern usage is meant to signify identity and, for devout Muslims, brotherhood.



I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see bad times today.
- from the song "Bad Moon Rising" performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival, written by John Fogerty (c) 1969

2005-09-02

The New Gulf War?

Random Thoughts About New Orleans

Why aren't we singing:
The highway's jammed with broken heroes
on a last chance power drive

Lots of unknowns here so I'm going to make a logical assumption:
- if they are taking evacuees by bus to Texas, then the roads from New Orleans to Texas must be passable

News reports say there are 30,000 people they need to move out of New Orleans. A spot check shows a coach bus (Greyhound type) seats 56 people. Lets round that down to 40 people to err on the side of caution. That means 750 buses are needed. A large number of buses but certainly not unobtainable. What if every city within a 12 hour drive of New Orleans sent 5 buses (and two drivers per bus) that would make a huge dent in that magic number of 750.

What if you tried using full size passenger vans? The extended variety seats 15 people. Lets plan on 10 passengers (plus drivers). that would require 3,000 vans. How many churches in a 12 hour radius have a full size van? How many churches without vans would pay for fuel and fill the vans with supplies? I predict within 3 hours after the local news media made a plea for supplies they would be out of room.

In fact those vans could skip Houston and just take the 10 people back to the local church. I bet they could be sheltered with local families.

I'm not there, so I have no idea what can or cannot be done. I do hear people in the crowd blaming the city officials, city officials blaming the state government, and the state government blaming the Feds. Has anyone bothered to go directly to the American people? I remember a time when people strived to be self-sufficient. Neighbors pitched in to help those with a need. Will the government bureaucracies (local, state, and federal) even allow it? If the physically able started to walk out of New Orleans how far would they get before private citizens would form a caravan of cars and pick-ups and mini-vans and U-hauls to give them rides?

I have seen reports that a plea went out for people with boats and people responded, why can't the same request be made for land transportation? Are the railways still functional? I wondered before Katrina hit why they couldn't evacuate people by boxcar. If the railroad tracks are still functional why can't they bus people to the trains? Now one bus could make multiple trips moving people out of the city. I wouldn't want to make a long trip in an boxcar without air conditioning but it has to be better than sitting at the Superdome.



It died with an awful sound
Funky claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky
- "Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple


I watch the video of the rescue boats and how few they can carry. I understand how underwater obstacles make it dangerous to use a normal outboard engine. I don't understand why the airboats cannot tow additional boats. Tie a couple of flat bottom jon boats to the air boat and bring back three to four times the number of people. Get some pontoon boats in there and tow them. Weld 55-gallon steel drums together and make rafts you can tow. Do any of these reporters feel guilty when they ride with rescuers? After all they are taking up a seat that someone could use.



Now, I'm the kind of man that wouldn't harm a mouse
But if I catch somebody breakin' in my house
I've got a twelve gauge shotgun waitin' on the other side
So don't go pushin' me against my will
I don't want to have to fight you but I durn sure will
-"Simple Man" by Charlie Daniels


Maybe this is a Southern thing but until recently it was declared right after (sometimes before) a disaster that "looters will be shot on sight". Seems like that policy should have been implemented immediately in New Orleans. The city has created an impossible dilemma now because there are thousands of people that must "loot" to get basic necessities like food and drink. Had a hardline stand been taken from the start the people in need would be waiting politely (relatively speaking) outside stores for necessities and the authorities would allow them to get it in an orderly fashion. I remember a photo in National Geographic after hurricane Andrew of a grizzled old man pointing an ancient looking revolver at a punk who was trying loot what was left of the old man's rubble. Fear of being shot deters a lot of would-be-looters.



Feed the babies
Who don’t have enough to eat
Shoe the children
With no shoes on their feet
House the people
Livin’ in the street
Oh, oh, there’s a solution
- "Fly Like An Eagle" by Steve Miller


Here is a thought for communities facing a future hurricane: when it is obvious you will be impacted why don't they implement a plan to get perishables from grocery stores? Instead of the food spoiling on the shelves it could be taken to evacuation centers and at least some of it would get used. It should be determined within a few hours after the hurricane passes just how badly the community was damaged. If it looks serious then security teams should be dispatched to the locations with non-perishable food. The local government now has an immediate supply to feed citizens for a few days until the help starts arriving. The experts know it takes a minumum of a few days for help to mobilize, that is why they tell you to keep enough food & water on hand for a week. There I go with that self-sufficient thing again.



Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future
- "Fly Like An Eagle" by Steve Miller


Armchair quarterbacks always know what is best. I'm sure I'm no exception. I know that time is running out for many people. If the elements don't get them they will be killed when the masses start to riot. This is a horrible situation, immediate solutions are possible, it just takes a willingness by everyone to allow it to happen.



Hands across the water, heads across the sky,
Hands across the water, heads across the sky.
- "Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey" by Paul McCartney & Wings


So why does my title refer to this as a war? Because sometimes war is about saving lives. Does anyone remember the "Miracle at Dunkirk" that happened during World War II? In 1940 Nazi Germany had 330,000 Allied troops trapped at Dunkirk, France. The superior firepower of the Nazis kept the British from sending in ships to evacuate the troops. The Allies decided small boats could get through the Nazi defenses. Boatyards were scoured for useable boats and pleas were made to civillians. When it was all over 900 smallcraft had rescued 338,226 soldiers. We should certainly be able to accomplish the same thing with only 30,000 people in need of rescuing. I'd love to see the "Miracle at New Orleans".



where is that place?
where did it go?
whatever happened to that place?
God only knows
that isn't it over there
and this isn't it here
now how did a place that big just disappear?
- from the song "WHERE IS THAT PLACE?" performed by Tonio K., written by Tonio K. & Scott Wilk (c) 1987

2005-08-24

Baby Hold On To Me

Okay, I'm searching the 'Net for a parts diagram to my dishwasher. I find a useful site called "FixItNow - Samurai Appliance Repair Man". I get sidetracked with the forum and there is a guy asking for help repairing the DC motor in his "Bottom Buddy". So I'm thinking do I really want to know what a "Bottom Buddy" is but as usual curiosity gets the best of me. After Googling the name I find a website that sells the Bottom Buddy. Here is what it looks like:
Bottom Buddy I guess if you need one it is indispensable - it holds toilet paper and extends the user's reach. According to FixItNow the manufacture discontinued the electric model due to mechanical failure. You can only buy the manual model. Not sure if I want know how the electric model worked (I mean from an engineering standpoint did the motor automate the attachment/detachment of the toilet paper or was it like an electric toothbrush vibrating, spinning, or going back & forth?) . The company selling the Bottom Buddy does have a comforting disclaimer:
For hygienic reasons, once the package has been opened, this product is not returnable.

The same company has a storefront on Amazon.com. Underneath the photo it has a link titled "Share your own customer images". Sorry but I wasn't THAT curious - go click it yourself.
Hey-ey baby
You know the future's lookin' brighter
Every mornin' when I get up
Don't be thinkin' 'bout what's not enough, now baby
Just be thinkin' 'bout what we got
Think of all my love, now
I'm gonna give you all I got
- from the song "Baby Hold On To Me" performed by Eddie Money, written by E. Money & J.Lyon (c) 1978

2005-08-11

Don't Get Keyed Off


Less is More?
I've seen some hype for a company selling "Das Keyboard" for a mere US$79.95. The keyboard is all black, as in no markings on the keys. It is targeted at the "ubergeeks only", people that really know how to touch-type. How is this for ad copy:
Shouldn't your keyboard reflect your status as one of the elite? We think so!
Introducing Das Keyboard, a precision keyboard that says who you are.
Now it makes sense that a blank keyboard will (eventually) make you a better touch typist but for US$8.95 you can accomplish the same thing with a skin that covers the keys to make them blank. Of course that would make you look like a novice instead of an ubergeek, and after all its all about status isn't it?

Reviews of the "Das Keyboard" claim it mimics the IBM model M keyboard, regarded by many as the best keyboard around. So it is probably better than the $9.95 generic QWERTY board you get at the local store. I'm also surprised they missed two good marketing points:
1) makes it easy for QWERTY and Dvorak users to share a keyboard
2) saves time putting the keys back on after removing them to clean all the finger dandruff that collects under them.

Of course a skin keeps the dandruff out so you don't have to clean. I wonder how much they would charge for a set of imprinted replacement keys?

What I really want is a Quinqube LCD-boardTM. It is a keyboard with tiny LCD screens on each key. You could then switch from QWERTY to Dvorak to APL to Cyrillic displays at the touch of a button. Instead of function keys you could display an icon. Software would change the icons as you switch to different applications. When you held down the [Ctrl] or [Alt] key it would automatically change the keys to show the hotkeys for the active application. Of course they would have to be backlit so you could type in the dark. Although if you can use the "Das Keyboard" you don't need any light. If anyone wants to produce the Quinqube LCD-boardTM let me know I'll license it cheap. (be sure and include a couple of bucky keys on the deluxe model)

One parting shot at the ubergeeks buying "Das Keyboard", why not rearrange all your keys in alphabetical order. So pressing [A] would type Q, [B] would type W, [C] would type E, . . .[Z] would type M. Talk about confusing. If you can use that keyboard you earn the title ubergeek maximus.

It's been so long, I feel so out of touch
Thoughts cloud my heart and head
I think I think too much
The narrow path I follow, is it the right way?
I keep on dwelling in tomorrow
I should be living in today!
I'm having trouble with my thought process
And I'm no engineer
All the road to my brains are there
And the directions just aren't clear
- from the song "Can't See Not Saying" by MxPx (c)1998

2005-08-07

Idiots "R" Us

Idiots "R" Us ME
Well I took an Idiot Test and scored 8%, where I guess a low score is a good thing. Although some would argue that merely taking the test makes you a 100% idiot. As you can see by my "official" results I am 92% NON-idiot. Many people that really know me would beg to differ. Take the test yourself and see how well you score.

I am 8% Idiot.
Friggin Genius
I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.


I also took a Geek test and Metrosexual test. I was surprised at my low geek score. I think being married really dropped me out of supreme geek status. On a side note I still have a hard time calling myself a geek, back in my teen years I was considered a nerd or more accurately a "science nerd". Back then a nerd was uncool but respectable; whereas a geek was the weirdo carnival attraction guy that bit heads off of chickens.

Not at all surprised at my metrosexual score, but I disagree with the part about shaving - Mrs. Quinqube loves the facial hair. Anyway below are my results.

I am 58% Geek.
I may not be cool or good looking but I make mad dough.
Nerd, Freak, Geek, Dweeb. Sound familiar? That's okay, cause I will be the richest person at my 15th year high school reunion. If a "con" isn't happening that weekend.


I am 4% Metrosexual.
Metro-What? Git Off My Lawn!
I need some advice. I need to STOP BUYING MY CLOTHS AT WAL-MART!!!! I will never land a decent woman unless I shave this nasty facial hair, and spend more then $5 on a haircut.


Can you see the real me preacher?
Can you see the real me doctor?
Can you see the real me mother?
Can you see the real me?
- from the song "The Real Me" performed by The Who, written by Pete Townshend (c) 1973