Today’s Goulash: Wednesday 11/17

Cooked up a fresh pot of goulash. Might be a few ingredients you don’t care for, feel free to push them to the side. Ingredients include: Rats, Turkeys, Squids, Locust, Kangaroos and Mother's Milk. All served with a side of sarcasm. Remember people I don't make this stuff up.

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TURKEYS: Car-Chasing Wild Turkey Stops Traffic {Must be looking for invite to a Thanksgiving dinner.}

RATS: Woman's home sweet home is her apartment full of rats
A rescue shelter for pet rats. {if things get out of hand she can start a rescue shelter for cats}

RATS: Large rat becomes culprit in mystery of runaway van
Rat makes nest in engine, causing throttle to stick. Driver narrowly escapes accident. {no rescue for this rat}

Rats!
They fought the dogs and killed the cats,
And bit the babies in the cradles,
And ate the cheeses out of the vats,
And licked the soup from the cooks' own ladles,
Split open the kegs of salted sprats,
Made nests inside men's Sunday hats,
And even spoiled the women's chats,
By drowning their speaking
With shrieking and squeaking
In fifty different sharps and flats.
- from "The Pied Piper of Hamelin" by Robert Browning

1,540 Pounds of Cocaine Hidden in Squid {one way to try to mask the scent}

Locusts threaten crops in Egypt
Worst swarm in 50 years. In a related story "If you can't beat'em, eat'em".
"This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions!" - quote by Dr. Venkman (Bill Murray) in the movie "Ghostbusters"

HUNT IN YOUR PJs: Texas officials wary of plan to hunt by Internet
Point, click, shoot. Hunt a Texas ranch from anywhere in the world. {hope these gun-cams don't show up in urban areas}

Monument collapses, six injured
Hours before the grand opening part of this 27-meter (88-feet) high monument fell nearly killing six people. The name of the monument is "Eternal Life". {they should rename it to "The Near-Death Experince"}

TURKEYS: Pastor Outsmarts Two Robbers {it is never wise to mess with a man of God}

FROM THE LAND DOWNUNDER
Birth Control Darts May Target Kangaroos, Koalas
Contraceptive works for 18 to 24 months. If the project proves successful it could be used worldwide on a range of animals. {I can see the headline now: Drive-by Shootings Lower Birthrate}

Mother who breastfeeds pup 'didn't want to waste it'
Quote: "He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish." Mom plans weanning the puppy in six weeks.
{better watch those milk teeth}