Today’s Goulash: Friday 11/26

Thanksgiving is over and I've got a bunch of leftovers to throw in this pot of goulash. Might be a few ingredients you don’t care for, feel free to push them to the side. This pot is full of family holiday recipes – consume at your own risk. All served with a side of sarcasm. Remember people I don't make this stuff up.

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Family Life

Mother Makes Deathbed Confession of Murder
{I wheeze wanted you wheeze to know wheeze I killed wheeze your father. cough cough he is wheeze in the freezer.}

Mom Pleads Guilty for Locking Son in Trunk of Car While Drinking in Bar
{its 11 o'clock, do you know where your kids are? Uh sure in the parking lot, now where are my keys?}

Half-Naked Man Allegedly Assaults Clerk
Police arrested a man who was naked from the waist down ...He fled on foot, and got into a vehicle driven by his mother before he was caught.
{Trust me son, take off your pants and they will never look at your face}

Half-Naked Trucker Takes Police on Chase
more details here (scroll down to the Hell On Wheels story)
{maybe he was looking for his mom}

13-year-old Boy Charged With Abducting Exotic Dancer
{maybe locking your kid in a trunk is not such a bad idea}

Dispute over turkey blamed for stabbings
{well they wanted him to use a knife}

Three Wives Attempt Suicide After Argument
Story from Iran – wife #3 (the young one) buys expensive boots. Wife#1 and wife#2 are upset. All three decide to take poison and end it all. All three end up in hospital and survive.
{makes me wonder if each woman failed to take the full amount, hoping the other two would die. And Utah wondered why they had to give up polygamy to join the Union}

22-year-old Son Kills His Mother
After shooting her in the hip, she said "I love you". Son replies "I love you too" and then shoots her in the face.
{give extra thanks if your family life is better than these people. Oh yeah, after she died he placed her body in the freezer.}

Hand-Me-Down Dish Fetches $5.7M at Auction
{you chipped granny's plate? No big deal it was old anyway}